Waking up to Systemic Racism: What George Floyd and a Painful Leadership Episode Taught Me

When the video of George Floyd’s senseless death went viral, my spouse and I were visiting several Civil Rights memorials as part of a cross-country road trip with our kids. Suddenly, like so many people around the world, we were horrified and trying to make sense of how something like this could happen … again.

I care deeply about justice and believe that all people should be treated with dignity and fairness. As an educational administrator, I believe that everyone deserves the opportunity to pursue the infinite benefits that a quality education makes possible. And I live these values by initiating and contributing to efforts to help my community members who are living at the economic margins.

Outraged by Mr. Floyd’s death, I was compelled to take a deeper look at my own role in contributing to implicit bias and supporting systems that perpetuate racism. The reality is that I and many of my colleagues in higher education have long thought that the primary culprit in the marginalization of people of color is poverty—in other words, the problem is classism. With that theory of change as my mental framework, attacking socioeconomic inequality and working for social and economic mobility, through education, became the purpose and passion to which I have dedicated much of my career. 

For me, what happened to George Floyd—on the heels of a difficult episode in my career—was a wake-up call.

The aggregate data, both quantitative and lived experience, makes the case clear—systemic racism directly impacts people of color and causes profound harm. But it took the tragic spectacle of George Floyd calling out for his mother while his life slipped away to prompt me and so many others to ask:  If I value dignity, equity, and basic fairness, what can I do to help dismantle systemic racism?

Not long ago, in a former leadership role, I was accused of exhibiting bias that was discriminatory. Although I took it upon myself to initiate an investigation and was ultimately found not responsible for the charges, the experience was disorienting and incredibly painful. I literally could not believe that I might be perceived as racist. I struggled to understand and acknowledge my unintentional misstep and its impacts. After being a part of higher education for decades, and during that time seeing myself as a strong supporter of diversity in word and action with colleagues and students from all backgrounds, I was stunned at how my words were received—exactly the opposite of what I value and had intended. I now understand that the words I chose to warn of the danger of implicit bias inadvertently reinforced a stereotype of a marginalized group. 

Regardless of my intention, my communication was hurtful. It was a life-changing experience that I am still learning from today.

When you accept responsibility for an action that caused harm, there is a silver lining—you grow. Although I know my active personal reflection and commitment to continuous improvement must be ongoing, I now have a renewed consciousness that inequality and racism are held deep in our systems and efforts to dismantle them must be intentional. Both conscious and unconscious advantages stem from systems that people with White privilege, like me, have the luxury to ignore. (Or did, anyway.) I realize now that my privilege and focus on classism reinforced a passive stance with regards to racism. Focusing on poverty, while important, is not enough.

I have more work to do to examine how I can be more aware of my unconscious racial bias, how it may negatively affect others, the power and privilege White people have, and how I can effectively articulate my values and take action in support of my commitment to diversity, equity, and inclusion. This requires active participation and ownership on my part—reading, learning, journaling, talking with others, and openly acknowledging the need for this important work. 

I am committed to the advocacy and work that will be required for justice. I hope others are also challenging themselves and coming to terms with how they think about the relationship between race and equity. This seems to me the only way systemic change can happen—through ongoing brave conversations and concrete action that lead to meaningful progress.